12 January 2010

1.21 Gigawatts and a t-shirt

Every once in a while, I like to entertain the thought of outfitting my bike, or the family minivan with either a flux capacitor, or the famed Battlestar Galactica FTL drive. I do have several debates in my mind, and with my dorky science fiction friends over which would be more useful. I mean, take the FTL—faster than light—drive. This handy item will allow any space traveling vehicle to effectively  travel from one end of the universe to the other in the blink of an eye without hitting an asteroid belt, planet, or Sputnik. Not sure what this puppy is? Think Han Solo and 'Chewy' pushing the hyperdrive levers together to outrun their Millennium Falcon from Vader's Star Dreadnought Executor—very convenient. The downside is setting a course is tedious and time consuming, albeit necessary. One miscalculation and you're space dust. Also, FTL's are relatively large, and thus, are usually equipped on larger ships: the Battlestar Galactica, Millenium Falcon, and yes, the NCC-1701. I would have the fastest bike split in Kona if I could equip my bike with one of these, but unfortunately, the FTL has not streamlined down over the years like the newest generation of iPod's from their prehistoric predecessors, ill-equipped for today's wifi world and handicapped with those outdated flywheels. Those early models are surely ready for the Smithsonian. The FTL drive continues to make advances to be sure, but economy of size is not one of them. Outfitting my ride with one might warrant some pretty beefy tires, which would of course, make me less aero. Plus, I am not sure that even my carbon fiber bike frame could withstand the heat generated from traveling at such great speeds.

On to the flux capacitor—now that is a real work of beauty. Fairly compact, simple—and with a little knowhow—can be outfitted to almost any vehicle, space-bound or not. You don't really need the DeLorean, that was just optional. Traveling back and forth through time could be pretty useful. I would have invested heavily in Apple Computer Company, McDonalds and Coca Cola thirty years ago. 

Through the years, it seems like I must have spoken about my fascination with the flux capacitor so much that it recently prompted my good friend C.R. to send me a flux capacitor  t-shirt in the mail. When C.R. lived near us, he would call me and ask what our family's plans were for the weekend. I would often respond with something along this lines like "I just need to reconfigure the molecular proton generator on the flux capacitor this weekend." He would then say "You idiot, the flux capacitor does not pair with a molecular proton generator, you're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. No wonder no one likes you"

I am just thankful to have a friend like C.R. who—although lives further away then our family would like—is still one of the nerdiest and greatest guys I know. Your family is always welcome at our table for dinner. P.S. Thanks for the great t-shirt!


Kelly said...

Is that two posts in a row where you are in a shirt???

Mark said...

Kelly, it is still January. Come May, it's sans t-shirt girlie!

Julie said...

Love the t-shirt.