Showing posts with label The Inquisition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Inquisition. Show all posts

21 December 2010

The Inquisition

Recently, an inquisition ensued at my house that made the whole Spanish one look like a tiny religious squabble.

When you have five children all under the age of eight, and someone or something is:

a) broken
b) missing
c) hurt by "mysterious" circumstances

our house conducts a special United States Senate Subcommittee Investigation into what may have initiated said incident. This is how it went down:

I was in my basement doing a one hour trainer ride, when all of a sudden from upstairs I hear wifey in a VERY loud voice ask "Who put water in the soap?"

SILENCE

Seconds later... "Who put water in the soap?"

SILENCE AGAIN

Now, I should preface that putting water in the soap dispenser is a very small problem. It is a very small problem if it happens once. After four or five times without the apprehension of a suspect, the Chief of Police at my house (wifey) has had just about enough. You see, as wifey likes to explain to me—because I often need explaining—soap is expensive. And because we like to live life green, wifey buys soap that is good for the environment. This soap happens to be a little pricer than  most  normal,"continue to kill our planet" varieties. As an aside, I should tell you that for some reason little girls particularly enjoy dispensing soap and rubbing it all over the sink in the bathroom, on the vanity, countertops, (you get the idea). Even at the local YMCA, my girls can not help themselves with the bubbly hand sanitizer. Perhaps the little ladies have some sort of unhealthy tactile fascination with the slippery stuff, but they just can not seem to leave the stuff alone.  I am suddenly imagining stumbling upon an incriminating picture of my girls years from now on  Facebook on spring break somewhere—unbeknownst to wifey and I—at one of those cheesy, touristy bars with a soap machine, getting lathered up while drinking cheap swill that the natives likes to pass as beer. Wonderful! Moving on....

My wife calls all of them into the living room at which time she starts her diatribe about the cost of soap, how hard mommy and daddy work to buy things, and even the obligatory "... and shut the lights out when you leave your room. Don't you know we don't own the electric company?" As a child, I always found this a bit odd. Even if you did own the electric company, wouldn't you still have to pay for the service provided? But I digress.

The response: Five little round faces with cherub-like gazes looked back at my wife with nothing but innocence and astonishment. First—how does this witch know I put water in the soap. Secondly, what will the punishment be if I should come forward and admit to this heinous, vile, insolent act?!
So, we sat around for five minutes waiting for someone to confess. Nothing. So, wifey decided to play hardball. "Okay—no t.v. or movies until the person who did admits to it." Still nothing.  We got some shifty eyes from the twins. Very shifty. So, we can not p unish everyone indefinitely, but they will have to go without their coveted Scooby Doo and Dora the Explorer until Christmas morning—which might as well be an eternity for them. We've been doing a tad more reading around the ole' house this week.

Speaking of reading, Luca and I are now on book 3 of the Harry Potter series. We are reading them together. They are a fantastic read for both him and me. I realized something about reading books to my children. My philosophy with toys has always been:

If I am going to sit down and play with toys for hours with my children, it better be something that I actually want to play as well. That is why Luca and Julian are into building lego models. I love building Legos with the boys. I actually think Legos are one of the coolest toys in the galaxy. Julian will literally spend hours building Lego models following, what he refers to as "the map." So, Harry Potter is fun to read because it is well written. If I have to read one more Berstein Bear, or Arthur book I think I may just go crazy.

We took my wifey's parents out for dinner on Friday. They sure do a lot for us. With five kids, they were our primary source of childcare this past semester, year, lifetime... as wifey and I were busy with some professional obligations. We would never be able to swing it if it were not for them and the help of family and friends. Here are a few of the delicious eats we had with explanations. Try not to drool:

Oysters on the half shell
Rock shrimp and calamari in deliciousness with daikon radish and field greens
Wifey's tina roll
The Vino


I am not that evil, so I will not post the main courses, but they were might yummy!




Oh yeah... TRAINING:

I could not be happier with my progress thus far. I feel fit, and ready to go. The bikes are a little behind where I would like them right now. I am just starting to get into the swing of biking again and my legs are asking the rest of my body what the hell is going on. Nothing like being in your basement on a trainer for the remainder of the winter. And, luckily for me, winter in western New York is only a mere 9 months long!  Coach Mary has me training to keep my HR in zone 2 on my runs and bike. I am finding it extremely difficult on my runs because of my ego, and because I am not incredibly patient. I mean, what the heck do I do on my runs? Walk?? So, this week has me doing endurance runs no longer than an hour.

I am currently in love with swimming. What the heck?!!! I have been doing these great swim workouts that I am really excited about. Essentially, Coach Mary is giving me swims that are far beyond what I can do in an hour. There is something really liberating about knowing that I can not get it done. For some reason, when the pressure is off to motor, it happens anyway.

I think I am going to do a 7.5 mile race on New Year's morning (pending Coach Mary's approval). I am alaso looking forward to doing a "location run" when I head out to Seattle the beginning of January to hear the premiere of my new piece "Chromium Music" by The Tangletown Trio. Word on the street is that there are some awesome places for seafood in the Pacific Northwest. You don't say?

More soon. Train Smart!